Tuesday, April 21, 2015

S Is for Shoreleave

Edit: Yes, I just realized that shore leave is two words. If I change the title now it will kludge all the links up. Whoops.

Riasi: Would you care for another drink, Doctor?

Chief Medical Officer: That would be wonderful. What a beautiful sunset.

Riasi: There’ll be another along in a few minutes, sunset I mean. Weather control did a fine job today.

C.M.O.: For a species that can’t drink it, you make great ice coffee. This is the best shore leave of my life.

Mukh: Hey look! There’s the Doc! Hey Doc! Over here! C’mon guys!

Riasi: Rrrrrr?

C.M.O.: Oh copulation. What corner of Hell did you jokers crawl out of?

Nok: Actually we took a shuttle. They wouldn’t give us clearance to land. I had to land inventively a few klicks down the shore. Hey what are you doing with that torch? 

Tivk: Doctor, violence never resolved anything and we bring you a message from the Chief.

Riasi: Doctor perhaps if I lit the torch ...

C.M.O.: ... wait let me hear them out. But keep the lighter handy.

Riasi: Of course.

Tivk: The Chief’s message is as follows: Get yer ass back to the ship. I don’t give a vole’s star shaped nose if you got three more days ‘a leave. I’m done playing wet nurse to these three! 

Mukh: Always back to lactation with you mammals.

C.M.O.: You do a scary good impression of the Chief, Mr. Tivk.

Tivk: I strive for accuracy in all things. I omitted waving a hand beamer around for safety concerns.

Nok: You weren’t easy to find. It’s like the resort doesn’t want people looking through their guest registry. 

Riasi: We do not!

Nok: You should change your encryption system. Your system is a joke that an old Cray could crack.

Riasi: I’m lighting the torch, Dolphin. 

Mukh: Dolphin! I knew it!

C.M.O.: I’m a good swimmer! I liked the salmon for dinner! Don’t start that again!

Riasi: I thought I recognized you! 

C.M.O: You know Mukh?

Riasi: Worst speed date of my life. Five minutes I greatly regret wasting.

C.M.O.: Listen to me you three; tell the Chief he’s out of luck. I’m staying for the rest of my leave. Now. Go. A. Way.

Nok: Don’t be that way, Doc. We need you. Mukh is putting on a brave front but the poor  froggy is in need of your services. Hear us out.

C.M.O: Make it good. I’m hanging on to the lighter AND the torch.

Mukh: My lunch got away from me after I ate it for a change and all over a lifter, a shuttle ...  and the Chief. So I went for a check up and ... I’m ovulating all over the place. I want you to handle the fertilization.

C.M.O.: You’re a ... but we’ve been calling you ‘Mister’. 

Mukh: And I was till recently. Didn’t you read the manual on me?

Nok: I want to know how the Doc is going to handle the fertilization.

Tivk: Mr ... Ms. Mukh’s people lay their eggs in a water environment. They are then fertilized by a male. Doubtless she wants the Doctor to handle the ... particulars of the  fertilization chamber and introduction of the male genetic material.

Mukh: You make a beautiful act sound so cold. Anyway a hot tub, a bottle of Jack and some mood music and I can do my part. The male genetic whatsit I kept in cold storage for just such an emergency.

Riasi: What the hell was the point of you speed dating me?

Mukh: I get lonely, toots.

Nok: Also ... this resort is just a front to pump Fleet officers for information.

Riasi: Rrrrr ... good luck with that. All he’s done is bitch about you three for two weeks.

C.M.O.: All right I’ll go! I’ll meet you at the shuttle in an hour. Just let me pack and settle  my bill. 

Tivk: Excellent. We will prep the shuttle for take off. 

C.M.O.: So ... pumping me for information?

Riasi: You had no information we required. I determined that your second day here.

C.M.O.: Then why the wining and dining and snogging and such for two weeks?

Riasi: Cat girls like to take a little leave too ... Dolphin.