Saturday, June 6, 2015

Coffee!

I

C.M.O.: Riasi, are you all right in there?

Riasi: No. I am not coming out.

C.M.O.: ... why?

Riasi: This is ... I don’t ... I feel ... exposed!

C.M.O.: What? you’re wearing Terran fashions circa 1957. That’s more than you usually have covering you!

Riasi: But ... my fur. I’m naked under my clothes! How do you stand it?

C.M.O.: Oh for ... it’ll grow back. I have a pill for it.

Riasi: Dolphin, you exploded my fur. I am  a little tense. No … I am going to live in the fresher. Leave me alone, Dolphin!

C.M.O.: Your fur did not explode. It just fell out … real fast in all directions. Okay fine. Live in there. I’m going to leave you alone. Bye Riasi.

Riasis: ... Wait. Dolphin! I’m coming out!

C.M.O.: . o 0 (No feline traits my gluteus maximus!)

Riasi: Dolphin please bear with me. This is very odd for me. I like humans. I just never thought I’d be one. Or mostly one.

C.M.O.: ...

Riasi: What is that look?

C.M.O.: My gosh, I thought I did a good job but ... seeing you in the clothes and makeup … and without the burnt fur sloughing off you …

Riasi: I turned out bad. I knew it! But that is the ‘pork chop look’ Korsa had for me. I am confused.

C.M.O.: Riasi, I hate to break this to you but you’re beautiful.  Here, you need sunglasses for your heads up display and commlink. 

Riasi: Thank you. These are nice.

C.M.O.: Ah I had Tivk fabb some gloves for you. They looked classy. 

Riasi: Oh. Hurrhurrhurr. Also nice. I will try not to destroy them. Wait I forgot, no claws. Not even the dewclaws. So I look good as a human? 

C.M.O.: You are dazzling!

Riasi: What the hell was wrong with me before! Racist!

<Slap>

II

Mukh: Take it easy.  Let go there! Hey here we are ... can you open the door maybe ... reeeeeeee! Hey remember we’re taxonomically incompatible! Reeeeeeeeeee!!

Swoosh

C.M.O.: What the hell? Oh ...

Mukh: Hey Dolphin! Did you misplace something? About 50 kilos?

Riasi: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! And it’s 45 kilos you sexy toad!

Doc: Oh for ... bring her in, please. Where are your partners in crime?

Mukh: Changing a tire. How should I know? Ya think I keep tabs on all aliens at all 
times?

Riasi: Dolphin!!

Doc: What happened to her?

Mukh: Throgg’s neck! How do I know?

Riasi: Guess what I been drinking doll, doll, doll, DOL-phin?

Doc: Oh dear Lord ... Wait! Where do you think you’re going!

Mukh: I’d tell you but frankly this way will lessen the chances of you finding me. Reepreepreepreep!

Riasi: Coffee! I been done drinking coffee doll doll doll DOL-phin! 

Doc: … You’re dead, frog!


Riasi: Cooooooooffeeeeeeeeee!