Monday, June 15, 2015

Katz and Robot Dogs

Riasi: Walking in high heels is hard for humans. Why do their women do it?

Mukh (dogcomm1): <Skrrrrt> At least you’re outside buying magazines and comics and not stuck in a shuttle with Tivk and Nok operating a robot dog. <Skrrrt>

Cadet (dogcomm2): <Skrrrt> What about me? <Skrrrt>

Mukh (d1): What about you?

Cadet (d2): I’m running all the engineering on this robot canine and it isn’t easy. Keeps overheating. I dunno why they decided to use a pile instead of a fuel cell … 

Tivk (dogcomm3): My fault. I thought we’d a pile in stock designed by my people. A good one.

Cadet (d2): … when’s it my turn to drive?

Mukh (d1): You lost your turns. You kept trying to look at Riasi’s legs and … attributes.

Riasi: I don’t mind! My attributes are my best feature … oooh chillax boys, local coming across that field.

Mukh (d1): Woof! Woof! <Skrrrt> <Skrrrt>

Cadet (d2): There’s a button to make it woof dumb ass!

Robot Dog: Woof! Wo <Skrrrt> -oof!

Riasi: What are you doing?! Why is making that noise? Get away from me!


Mukh: Hey what’s that light for? Oh shi …

Cadet: Initiating emergency panting cool down! Venting coolant! Tail radiators overheating, commencing wagging!

Riasi: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Robot Dog: Puff puff puff <Skrrrt> <Skrrrt> Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr …

Boom! Boom! Sproing!

Riasi: O.O

Farmer: Are you okay ma’am?

Riasi: You shot the robot dog!

Farmer: Dang right he was rabid! He was foaming and chasing you. Did you want me to take a picture?

Riasi: Thank you. It was scary.

Farmer: … Would you like me to help you out of that tree?


Riasi: Not necessary. Thank you. You live around here?

Farmer: … Just over that hill. Just call me Stretch. I didn’t get your name …

Riasi: Ri … Ri … Rita! Rita … Katz!

Mukh: I don’t believe this!!

Nok: You crashed a dog.

Mukh: Only after that guy blasted us and the screen went all splodey!

Cadet: Okay the pile is intact. Visual is out. Audio marginal. Servos out. Initiating emergency shut down. Captain’s is going to go apeshit. Then he’s going to kill us.

Tivk: Nonsense. He is good at delegating. The Exec will go apeshit and the Chief will kill you.

Nok: Indeed. 

Farmer: So what are you doing out here so far from town?

Riasi: I’m looking for good locations for a movie holo movie!

Farmer: A movie? What's it called? 

Riasi: How To Be Outstanding In Your Field!

Farmer: … I see. You got a lotta magazines. Here’s some more you dropped.

Riasi: Thank you. You are very sweet. Hang on, I want to take my shoes off. Wow, you are tall.

Farmer: Awwwww …. heheheheheh!

Tivk: Go get the dog.

Nok: Like hell. You pass for a human the best. Besides, anything happens to me and you’re stuck with Shavetail here or Mukh for a pilot.

Tivk: I will get the dog. My cloak!

Cadet: Is your arm broken? Get it your own self! I’m keeping the dog from sparking or going all killer robot on the hayseed’s ass. Captain’s going to kill me.

Mukh: Ms. Riasi is doing a good job distracting him,  from what I can hear. She don’t even have her fur or tail!

Cadet: Dude, Ms. Riasi could be distracting in a suit of power armor.

Farmer: Me? An actor? Really?

Riasi: Sure! You got a great face for radio!

Farmer: Achoo! Choo! Oh. ‘Scuse me.

Riasi: There is a lot of pollen. Do you have allergies? 

Farmer: Not hay fever … cats …

Riasi: … you gotta be kidding me.

Farmer: Uhhhhhhhh …


Riasi: . o 0 (I was too charming and I killed him! I always knew I could do that.) Hello shuttle, we have a medical emergency here. This farmer fell over and passed out … or passed out first.

Cadet: We’re relaying the situation to the ship. Thank you for giving the Captain a more pressing problem than our crashing the dog!

Mukh: We got shot first!