Technical: Holy … Videni Third Battle Fleet closing on us sir. No hails. Weapons are charging.
Captain: What … they didn’t think we’d rate the First Battle Fleet? Full shields and ready to launch torpedoes on my mark. Keep closing on this course. We’ll make them ‘holey’ all right.
Technical: … aye sir.
Captain: Take it easy … I’ve been in worse spots. You know what Admiral Selkirk said at Allakir 3?
Ulla-Korsa: Holy shit! Look at all the fucking Videni!!
Klendath: Videni Third Battle Fleet closing on Liberty base my lord.
Ulla-Korsa: Hug the planet you fools and keep our em signature pointed away from them. It will be good to see these Terran throggs humbled. This will be an epic battle.
Klendath: If I may say it’s kind of unsporting.
Ulla-Korsa: That's the kind of best battle to watch! Don’t let it spoil your enjoyment. If the great Gid wanted all battles to be fair he would have made us all …
Exec: ... sons of bitches!
Helm: Aye ma’am. Ma’am! We have ships breaking out of warp ahead of us …
Exec: That would explain the flash of light! Status. Now!
Helm: 12th Carrier Group! Three Death Blossom class carriers!
Exec: Fire at will. Those things just jumped between us and their battlecruiser shield. We’re killing them before the battlecruisers can turn around.
Helm: Firing at will ma’am!
Exec: Excellent! We might get two before they …
Saltornus: Wake up!
Saltornus: I want you to be awake for this you faithless throgg!
Tivk: Are we dead?
Saltornus: Not yet. Mmmph.
Tivk: You are injured?
Saltornus: No. Just dying. Your beach apes missed my no. 3 suicide capsule. This one takes a little longer. In case I want to make a speech.
Tivk: You have nothing I want to hear.
Saltornus: … beanpole.
Saltornus: That is what the beach apes call your kind. Correct? Yet you still can stand them.
Tivk: A term of affection such as your mother reserved for me last night.
Saltornus: I beg your pardon?
Tivk: It is a beach ape insult. I don’t quite understand it myself. I was hoping you did.
Tivk: Ah you did.
Saltornus: You have lived too long among the filth throwing humans. Even your kind is preferable.
Tivk: The feeling is not mutual.
Saltornus: Come no closer. I have the guard’s pistol. He … will not be needing it.
Tivk: Serves him right for waking up second. Do you intend to kill me with the pistol or by talking me to death?
Saltornus: I intend nnnnnnng to live to see you realize you can’t stop us … our faith …
Tivk: Your faith … Saltornus … are you a replacement or a clone? Is the real Saltornus alive?
Saltornus: I’m Videni!
Tivk: I see.
Tivk: Obviously your suicide capsule works faster than advertised. I give your species credit for craftsmanship. Here … I’ll take that pistol. Someone might get hurt.
Saltornus: Fair enough. I don’t need it … anymore.
Tivk: I suppose not.
Saltornus: I … see my gods … welcoming me to the City of Suns Eternal. You will never know such bliss faithless.
Tivk: You are experiencing endorphins released into your brain and probably a hallucinogen included in your death pill.
Saltornus: … silly beanpole. The endorphins are what lets you see the gods.
Tivk: You. Are. A…
Won Ton Courtesan
Korsa: ... lunatic! You are insane. That is my father’s ship! He intends to blow me to quarks!
Nok: Got that. You don’t like my flying?
Korsa: We’re a few klicks behind his tail!
Nok: Best place for hiding. Engine wash, less sensor mountings. Less gun mountings.
Korsa: If the cloaking device blows a photon decoupler …
Kzvita; I got that nailed down, Captain … salle-Captain!
Korsa: Yes, faithful one?!
Talnerassa: Aren’t you the one with the most balls on the bridge?
Korsa: I don’t want to have to fight my father and kill him ...
Nok: Not much chance with him aboard that ship.
Korsa: Also remind me to shoot one of you after this. You are …
Mukh: … women, children, and phrogs! Man the escape capsules! This section of the base is losing air. On the bright side the asphyxiation will kill us before radiation sickness if we stay here!
Security: … your crowd control sucks perfessor! Move it! Moveit! Hey, we said women and children! Not you asshole … sorry ma’am. Move it people. We’re cut off here. We’re going to reach a life capsule and not launch till we get the word. We will have air and shielding to keep us safe. Launching is not enabled yet … stop pressing that goddam alarm! Follow instructions and we’ll get you all out of here … hey professor!?
Mukh: Give me a second … I’m used to a thicker atmosphere to begin with. Out of breath. You don’t look so good yourself.
Security: Cracked ribs for sure. I’ll get by. I had worse than this in the ring.
Mukh: You know … even the Zangid don’t beat each other for entertainment value.
Security: I heard they get their tripper slaves to stage slappy fights for laughs.
Mukh: Yeah but the Zangid don’t do it themselves.
Security: Yeah if they could break themselves of the enslaving whole races quirk they’d strike me as real advanced. Move it folks!! We’ll be okay! You gotta have ...
Captain: … a headache like no tomorrow. I need a smoke.
Tech: I doubt anyone will mind. Not like we have to worry about long term effects.
Captain: Hah. What the … they’re breaking off?
Tech: Videni carriers just jumped in! Tesla is opening up on them! Boy is she!
Captain: Hah! Go Philly! We got them trapped between our two forces. We got them by their nards!!
Tech: We got a tiger by the nards!
Captain: You’re a ray ‘a sunshine. The battlecruisers either split their force or they blast the Tesla and then come around and hit us and Liberty. Meanwhile Liberty might get her guns up and running. Then we’ll be the horse to bet on!! Assuming we …
Exec: … fuck me running! Helm get back on those carrier’s tails!
Helm: Sorry Skipper! This ship handles like a black hole!
Exec: Don’t make excuses! Turn her around!
Helm: Damn carriers are all empty space. They move like frigates!
Exec: Keep them turning tight. If they launch fighters under heavy maneuver they’ll shred the launch tubes. And fire!
Helm: Firing!! Direct hit!! Carrier Alpha is falling out of formation … launching fighters!
Exec: Forget them. We blast the carrier we cut off their beamed power! Fire again!!
Helm: Firing! Ma’am Battlecruisers are closing the range. Fast. Carriers are making for Snowball. Going to try and lose us in a tight orbit!
Exec: Pursue! And get …
Admiral: … your hands off my butt Commander!
Security Chief: Apologies Admiral. That was quite a shock. How much did we miss?
Admiral: Base took a hard hit. Main battery is offline. Torpedoes offline. DamCon is enroute. We’re evacuating module three to the life pods.
Security Chief: Our detainees ‘sploded.
Admiral: How hard did you hit your head?
Security Chief: Puuuuuuumpkins.
Admiral: You ...
Korsa: ... need your head examined for sure, vole. But you may have given me an honorable out. Well … not honorable so much as too much fun to pass by.
Nok: Your dad lives another day … and the ship that is ten times our size.
Korsa: If dad dies I become the ulla-Korsa as eldest son. But he can’t die by my hand for that.
Nok: I thought humans were complicated.
Talnerassa: Live a few more weeks with salle-Captain. Humans are a cake walk.
Korsa: Someone is getting shot today. Here is what we’re going to do …
ZKS VehemanceUlla-Korsa: Get us out of here. The Tesla is heading right for us … leading the Videni Third Battle Fleet with carriers. I always knew that ship was bad luck. Notify the Videni that we are merely observing. Send regards and condolences to Tesla as well.
What in Gid’s name just happened? Who fired at the carriers! Who did it?
Klendath: I didn’t!
Tactical: Not me ulla-Admiral! It came from elsewhere! I swear!
Ulla-Korsa: Then … shit …
Ulla-Klendath: My demon-bitch whelped prick of a son is trying to get us in a war … with the Videni!!
Klendath: Scanners! LET ME DO IT!
Tactical: Did you just yell at me? Are you shoving me?
Ulla-Korsa: LET HIM DO IT! You never scan anything beyond the bullseye …
Helm: Direct hit! Rear shields are down by half.
Exec: Everyone’s wearing their seat belts? Good! Report!
Helm: We took a fireball to the rear shield!
Exec: 'Course we did. Got a whole damned fleet on our ass. Calm down girl.
Helm: Skipper, the Concordance and her destroyers are firing torpedoes on the fleet. Three Videni destroyers and a battlecruiser crippled.
Exec: //Intercom// Ensign? Run the generator at maximum. Keep it from melting. Be ready for a warp disengage!
Ensign://Intercom// Aye ma’am. Want me to move the ship a few klicks to the side with my hands as well?
Exec://Intercom// Not yet …
Helm: Ma’am! Another battlecruiser detected!
Exec: We can only be blown to quarks once ...
Helm: Ma’am! ZANGID battlecruiser in orbit around Snowball. Dead ahead! It just fired on the Videni carriers! Direct hit!
Klendath: I got him sir!!
Ulla-Korsa: I think his passing under us decloaked made it a little easier for you, bug!
Tactical: You found him, I’ll give you that, tripper.
Ulla-Korsa: Follow him you morons! Charge weapons!
Klendath: Engine wash! He blinded us!
Ulla-Korsa: Get us moving! Blind or not! Last known heading of the little bastard!
Klendath: No … Maddock is that Big Terran Bastard.
Wanton CourtesanKorsa: Woohoo! Set course to rendezvous with Tesla. Keep those fighters off her till she trashes the other carriers.
Nok: Uh battlecruisers?
Korsa: We’ll let my da’ deal with those.
Talnerassa: I just sent the declaration of war to the Videni.
Korsa: I hope you used a lot of profanity.
Talnerassa: It will appear authentic.
GCS ConcordanceCaptain: Give that destroyer captain a gold star!
Technical: Aye sir. Tesla set up a killing field for us but …
Captain: I know. We can’t take down enough. In a minute when the battlecruisers reach her …
Exec: ... we’re going to die … we may as well go out in a blaze of Glory … and take this fleet with us.
Exec: Ready all torpedoes to fire on my signal.Tell Ensign to ready for a …
Exec: I wish they’d stop doing that!
Helm: Heavy damage to shuttle bay and rear thrusters! Casualty reports …
Ulla-Korsa: He sent what???
Tactical: Videni bettlecruisers coming in range … they’re locking weapons on us. We have two fireballs tracking.
Klandath: Courtesan is firing on Videni fighters and falling in with Tesla.
Ulla-Korsa:I should be mad as hell but …
Klendath: You’re smiling?
Ula-Korsa: I know. I can’t stop.
Ulla-Korsa: Lock weapons on the Videni lead cruiser.
Tactical: Aye, ulla-Admiral.
Ulla-Korsa: Let the diplomats sort it out tomorrow. We don’t want the Videni to think they can just shoot us up without paying for it! Prepare to evade fireballs on my mark … MARK!
Captain: … my words we’re watching history!
Technical: The Liberty Star Base Cluster Fuck?
Captain: The Brass will clean it up for the history books. Put on more speed and keep firing. We’ve hurt them and their fireballs only fire forward. Phil should get a medal for this set up.
Technical: Tesla took a hit … Tesla is firing all torpedoes … the Courtesan smoked another fighter ...
Captain: About time Phil …
Technical: Captain! She’s targeted Snowball!!
Captain: … Haumea.
Technical: My God!
GCS TeslaHelm: Torpedoes one to six hit … radiation readings spiking skipper. The chain re …
Exec: Warp disengage!!
Exec: There she goes … disengage!!
Helm: It’s been an honor …
Ulla-Korsa: … and a pleasure to smoke these bastards for pulling out of our alliance and leaving us hanging in the last war. Bring us around … get back on the Videni tail … Great Gid!! Tesla blew up the planet!!!
Klendath: We lost shields … taking damage to surface compartments! Sensors out again!
Tactical: We’re turned around. Weapons cycled. Power reserves are low …
Ulla-Korsa: Get the shields back up you two ...
Korsa: … maniacs. I am surrounded by maniacs.
Talnerassa: Planet went ‘splodey.
Nok: Sit down. You have a concussion.
Talnerassa: Gosh you’re short and furry.
Nok: Granted. Sit down.
Korsa: Get your stinger laden rack off me, Queen of Spiders!
Kzvita: I love my salle-Captain.
Nok: Warp disengage successful. We’re on the other end of the system.
Nok: Not sure. It’ll take the light a half hour to reach us.
Korsa: Got a little carried away with the disengage, did we?
Nok: A planet blew up behind me, there were a thousand Videni ahead … You said disengage I disengaged.
Korsa: The lack of Videni warping after us is a good sign. Send for Bizgit to treat Tal. Tell him to hurry ...
Captain: ... we aren’t evading shit! Take us through the asteroid field. Full screens. Blast any rocks in our way. Send the destroyers on sweeps around the perimeter of the debris field. Scan for Tesla.
Technical: Sir …
Captain: Between the debris, ionite detonations, and exploding Videni she could be drifting there and need help.
Comms: Captain: Incoming transmission from battlecruiser Vehemence, Admiral Korsa.
Ulla-Korsa: Greeti … Mad Ox, is that you?
Captain: Someone has to be me.
Ulla-Korsa: Who was conning the Tesla?
Captain: My Exec.
Ulla-Korsa: Ah the Toxic Ginger Witch.
Captain: You speak ill of her and I’ll ‘port over there and wring your fat neck, Korsa.
Ulla-Korsa: Any witch can throw an exploding planet in the way of a Videni fleet is okay with me. Say, you didn’t happen to see young Xamilar around, did you?
Captain: Your son? No. And furthermore, fuck off.
Ulla-Korsa: Ah. Heh.You must be busy right now. I will watch the self-destructing Videni ships and call back in a bit.
Captain: You do that ...
GCS TeslaEnsign: … again and I’m quitting.
GAIA: Oh please it’s a bloody nose.
Ensign: Is it still bleeding?
GAIA: I don’t want to look. Blood creeps me out, like windchimes!
Ensign: Mind the compensators! We just threw half the command crew around the bridge.
GAIA: Never mind that. They’re okay. We came out of hyper in the Oort cloud. Ma’am …
ZKS VehemenceKlendath: … has sustained damage to her aft section and forward nacelles. Nothing major.
Ulla-Korsa: Fine. Videni make shitty foes Klendath. They always blow themselves up depriving you of the kill.
Klendath: You save on feeding prisoners.
Ulla-Korsa: That’s no excuse for poor sportsmanship.
Tactical: Also you can’t take slaves.
Ulla-Korsa: Hah! Like I’d trust a Videni that let themselves be captured. Probably leave pamphlets around trying to convert me. Ooh, destroyer just popped up there! Their cloak must have fizzled from rock impacts.
Tactical: The Terrans are ordering their ships to break off the attack and return to base.
Ulla-Korsa: Bleh! One for luck. FIRE!
Chief: ... your ass if she sees how you treat the patients.
Doc: Shut up you miserable old ordinance monkey. You’re too mean to die.
Chief: Good thing! You got ten thumbs and ya operate with one hand down your girlfriend’s blouse! No offense Ms. Riasi.
Riasi: Hurr hurr hurr. None taken.
Doc: Only when I’m showing off for you knuckle dragging ground pounders!
Chief: Punkin’ head!
Riasi: Save your strength, Chief. You have a hairline fracture of the skull and a broken collarbone.
Doc: I’m sure the deck fared badly as well. His skull is way tougher.
Doc: I’ll be good …
Liberty Star Base
Admiral: ... work! We got the guns working!
Security Commander: That’s good. Who are we fighting?
ZKS VehemenceUlla-Korsa: ... my kid! Find my lousy kid!
Tactical: The pirate, right?
Ulla-Korsa: No, the Gid-damned hair dresser!
Tactical: Yes ulla-Admiral! Many pardons ulla-Admiral?
Ulla-Admiral: Any of you other wise asses want a lift off the deck plates? I thought not. Now find that Gid-cursed backshooting pirate cur!
Klendath: A son to be proud of sir!
Ulla-Korsa: Thank you Klendath. He favors my side of the family. Our ancestor Morto led the great revolt against the Sky Devils who sought to enslave u …
Klendath: Yes I heard another side to that with all due respect.
Ulla-Korsa: Oh look, Liberty Starbase is hailing us …
Tatical: … no it’s not.
Tactical: Opening a comm line to Liberty right now ulla-Admiral!