Friday, May 19, 2017

Close Shave

Doc: Where the heck are you going?

Mukh: I can't watch!

Tivk: Doctor ... you are a competent surgeon but this is ill advised.

Nok: Bitching.

Tivk: Do not encourage him. This is suicide.

Doc: Oh for ... I'm shaving. Just shaving. I'm just glad I packed the old razor in my kit. I never thought we'd be stuck out here this long in ... whatever the hell this is.

Tivk: You are a doctor. Why would you want to scrape hair off your neck and face with a piece of  razor sharp steel? You are placed a cutting implement in deadly proximity to your jugular vein and carotid artery. How do you ignore this?

Doc: Guys, human males do this all the time. I'm nearly done. I just like a truly close shave. Riasi likes it too. This straight razor was my dad's and his dad's.

Tivk: Did they slit their throats with it?

Doc: Wha ... no! They lived to ripe old ages.

Mukh: Mammals. All that silly hair ... and lactation! When you aren't shaving or consuming dairy you're mating. Wait, you ripen with age too? Eeeeew eeew eeew!

Tivk: Poising that steel millimeters from your life's blood. There are depilatories and electric shavers ... electrolysis treatment ... tweezers even.

Nok: Terrans shaving are awesome. How often? Once a year? Twice?

Doc: Almost ... everyday for me. Every other day for some.

Mukh: This is insane. Even the closer human-forms don't shave their necks.

Doc: you'd be amazed how hard we humans have to try to keep from laughing at neckbeards.

Nok: Pussies. I want to shave something.

Tivk:  I need a bowl of sand to shift through my fingers. Or better yet my toes.

Mukh: This is payback for the mac and cheese experiment, right?

Doc: ... hahahahahahahaha! Anyway I'm finished.

Nok: Shave something else. Now!