Sunday, November 8, 2015

Women's Uniforms Are Half Off!

Doc: The situation doesn’t look good on Sackett’s Landing. There’s a new strain of pneumonia that is proving resistant to standard antibiotic treatment. Based on current research the infection could respond to tniba berries, native to Hausen 3, a few days travel away.

Exec: Oh Jebus save us …

Mukh: Oh f’taugn.

Tivk: What is your concern? hausen 3 is 2.7 days away. Sackett’s Landing 4 days beyond that. Given the progression of the disease and assuming we process the berries for their medicinal extracts on the way we should arrive in time to effect a complete reversal. That is if the Doctor’s information is accurate.

Doc: It. Is.

Tivk: So?

Exec: The harvest of tniba berries is time consuming and very labor intensive. To get enough to treat 500 humans … well we’ll have to deal with the locals for their stockpiles.

Doc: … I hadn’t thought of that. I guess you’re going to command the mission?

Exec: … yes.

Mukh: I’ll go with you of course. We females have to stick together.

Tivk: I do not understand. Are they difficult to trade with? I can produce any number of goods useful for a variety of technology levels.

Exec: The natives are humanoids, similar to humans or Zangid … they’re cavemen Tivk!

Doc: The natural enemy of spacemen.

Tivk: Na Oh that is a problem. But the Chief and his Marines are certainly equipped to repel any hostiles armed with the local flora and quartz chips.

Doc: They won’t show themselves to a well armed party. We have to do this using a contact team. With at least one woman. And they will attempt to make off with any women we take with us.

Mukh: It is sort of flattering. I guess.

Exec: Bite me, frog.

Tivk: … they will make off with any women.

Exec: I’m not having any of my ladies subjected to that. I’ll take this hit.

Doc: It was a lot worse when you used to wear those tight fitted silver uniforms. The short skirt variant was a complete fiasco.

Exec: I liked the silver uniforms.

Mukh: I loved the silver uniforms! Very slimming.

Doc: ...

Tivk: I don’t understand. Why don’t you just port down a party that is all men?!?!

Doc: I can’t believe you’d say that.

Mukh: Tivk!

Tivk: Say what?

Exec: An all male party would be sexism! We can’t have that!

Tivk: I apolo … what? But … sexism is … excuse me please. I need to test the structural integrity of a few beams … by banging my head against them.

(Door) Fwoosh!

Exec: Okay back to business. It’s the three of us for the contact team so far. Doctor, Professor I want your recommendations for a fourth on my desk ASAP. I’m going to see about getting my old silver uniform pressed. I wore it last time I was there. Their Matriarch is an old friend. We should have the berries in no time. I’ve got to get to the bridge. Later!

(Door) Fwoosh!

Doc: Do you think messing with Tivk will ever get old?

Mukh: You should live so long.