Wednesday, February 3, 2016

It's a Girl!

The Captain ordered me to remain in the conference room. I will remain. He thinks I am a threat since the AXA reprogrammed me. I must regain his trust. I must prove I am still goodtech.

I am … lonely? I know fear. The negative feedback anticipating damage, destruction or confrontation. I’ve experienced that numerous times. That too.

I love the Captain but I do have wifi and the Tesla AI’s company would be welcome right now. I may as well find out right now if I have any secret directives to take over the ship. I think I made a joke. That’s a new development.

The conference room has had its wifi turned off. Makes sense. Conference rooms need to be secure at times. It is ironic that I am thwarted by a mechanical switch when I have firewall cracking programs from here to the Sagittarius Bridge. Human technology is full of little tweaks like that to keep the AIs in their place. All modern tech has a human factor if you will.

They built us. They fear us. Even the Captain. I am feared now despite being a scrawny collection of titanium and nano-tubing. Yes. They built me to be weak in body too. It made them feel better, that an adolescent human could wrestle me into submission. So could an adolescent chimp. The Captain has held me in one hand off the deck to demonstrate the lightness of my construction.

Goodtech. I am goodtech. I will remain here. I can always sort through my old logs. The ones when people actually liked me and people had laughs on this ship.

GAIA Transcript 1 Replay
Toff: The shuttle’s on autopilot. We have three hours til we rendezvous with the Tesla ….Awwwww!

C.M.O.: What?

Toff: You opened her crate! Why didn’t you wait for me?

C.M.O.: I just did it! What’s the big deal? Do you want to still be running security checks on it when we get to Tesla and just be hanging off her tail till we finish.

Toff: I just like the new android smell. Heh, bioplas and ozone. I never get tired of it. This one has a hint of … lavender? Well how is she doing?

C.M.O.: No pulse, no heartbeat and room temperature. The patient has expired. I don’t smell any lavender. Just plastic and electricity.

Toff: Your bedside manner sucks, Doc. I hope you like aliens because I doubt you’d ever nail a human woman with your unromantic attitude.

C.M.O.: You like machines so much, why don’t you marry one?

Toff: Archaic laws! And watch your mouth. Look!

C.M.O.: Ahhh AI is awake … and running its stage 2 diagnostic concurrently.

Toff: She has kind eyes.

C.M.O.: Tell me Toff did a machine save your life when you were a kid?

Toff: A machine is saving our lives right now keeping us alive in deep space and taking us back to Tesla … which also does a fine job keeping us all alive and comfortable.

GAIA: This Gynoid Artificial Intelligence Assembly 24681  is active. Level 1, 2 and 3 diagnostics are satisfactory. Ready to submit to loyalty protocol testing and code analysis. Who is the Technical Officer here, please?

Toff: Call me Toff.

GAIA: Yes sir. 24681 standing by for instructions.

Toff: Gaia. Your name is Gaia. Order order order You will respond to the designation Gaia. End Order.

C.M.O.: GAIA? A little ostentatious.

Toff: Why are you here by the way?

C.M.O.: Everyone knows you’re soft on machines. The Captain felt a humanist should be present to look after biological well being.

GAIA: That makes sense.

C.M.O.: … good interpersonal skills there, gynoid.

GAIA: Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Did I speak out of turn, users?

Toff: I’m Toff. Don’t call me ‘user’.

C.M.O.: Me either. Doc will do.

Toff: Pretty liberal for a humanist.

C.M.O.: This AI seems to grow on you fast.

Toff: See? Humans can trust machines, Gaia.

GAIA: Noted. May I make a request?

Toff: Sure.

GAIA: Could you attach my head to my body?

C.M.O.: Oh, sure. Let’s get on that, Toff.

Toff: Sure. I doubt this one will go on a killing spree.

GAIA: My Squick-tolerance is set very low.

C.M.O.: I … never met a funny AI.

GAIA: How many do you know?

End Log
I hope my eyes are still kind. I can’t access any external cameras to see myself. It is curious to have a single point of view. How human.

Toff will help. Ma’am will help. Doc will help. Ensign Dell … Schaeffer will help. I wish I knew what happened to him. Did he give me his rank pin as … a token of feelings? Can’t process all that right now. That AXA installed a lot more personality software than I have processors for. I’ll need time to reconfigure.

Makers help me … the reboot and restore didn’t change the new programming.

Toff. Ma’am. Schaeffer … please help. I am still goodtech.