Sunday, October 9, 2016

Seems Like Old Times

Medical Log: Following L'Rre Nok's possession by a non biological entity we have modified Shuttle 1 with a psionic screen and are currently tracking the entity to learn more about it. My companions are rather more enthusiastic about this mission than I am.

Nok: It's been a while.

Tivk: Here we are back on Shuttle 1. Why did it take so long to get back to basics?

Doc: Let's see, you started a civil war on Nodens ...

Mukh: They were using stunners! It was a very civil war indeed!

Tivk: Quiet. There's still an ongoing investigation.

Doc: Crashed a robot dog during temporal research, nearly killing Riasi, and possibly altering our timeline ...

Mukh: That was Shavetail's fault! He couldn't keep his eyes off Riasi's ass.

Doc: And you crushed a number of security vehicles at the Liberty Starbase Planetside Mall.

Mukh: They were asking for it!

Tivk: A clear logical response to abuse of power. Restricting parking on an arbitrary basis.

Doc: It was their job ... and their mall!

Nok: They had ... nice balls there ...

Doc: ...

Tivk: ...

Nok: The ball pit. In the food court?

Mukh: I love balls!

Nok: We're not keeping up with the NBE.

Doc: Nuts! Can we project a course for it?

Tivk: Working.

Doc: Mukh, have you found any further information on this type of NBE?

Mukh: It's a pretty piddly-shit sort of entity able to control a single mind. Obviously a low tolerance for pain.

Nok: L'Rre made short work of it. Why follow?

Doc: It might encounter someone less able to resist it.

Tivk: Oh. Hu-mans.

Doc: Why do you even keep us around?

Nok: Laughs.

Tivk: You keep showing signs of improving.

Mukh: I love humans!

Doc: ... we love you back Froggy.

Nok: Course projected ... laid in.

Meanwhile, on the mighty Cruiser Tesla, we find our daring hero and his plucky AI facing a mystery in the making ... (end scroll)

Lt: Is the transcript system still malfunctioning? (he asked testily.)

GAIA: Hahahahahahaha!

Lt.: When I find the smart ass who hacked the system I'm going to kill him! (he snarled testily.)

GAIA: Hahahahahaha! (she guffawed.)

Lt.: A little help? (he asked more testily than before.)

GAIA: Sorry my wifi is back but I can't hack any ship systems till I'm off my probationary period. (she answered tossing her luxurious hair luxuriously.) Snrrrrk! Hahahahaha! (she giggled.)

Lt.: Oh stop it before you snort lubricant out your nose.

GAIA: <SPLORT> Hehehe ... hey ... aren't you going to fix this? (she asked oily  testily.)

Lt: Why? it's working fine! (he retorted.)


GAIA: HAHAHAHAHAHA! Hey, I think my laughter app is malfunctioning ... (she whined.)


Lt.: Hey there he is! Dog! Here Dog! Here boy! (he pleaded.)

Dog: Nrrrrrrrrrr. (the cur snuffled piteously.)

GAIA: Whined? I don't whine! (she whined.) 

Lt.: Sure you do. Dog ... he's staring at that locker. I hate it when dogs do that. Do a scan. (he snapped.)

GAIA: Scanning ... cold spot. EM flux. (she said operating the scanner with a deft motion.)

Lt.: NBE! The Exec was afraid of this. The damned thing fissioned before it left. 

(Indeed. I'm also hacking your transcript bots for laughs.)

GAIA: Looks likely, Schaeffer. 

(You know what? I'm tired of this! Screw the both of you!)

Lt.: Dog's on the move! 

(Jerk!)

Dog: Woof! Woof! 

(Fucking dog!)

GAIA: ... and our NBE! 

(Girl 'bot toadie!)

Lt.: Tell Ma'am to sound general quarters! We still got a ghost onboard! 

(Bring it meat bags! You too chip witch!!)