Monster Hunting Made Sensible

 Note that I said 'sensible' not easy. While some (most) will say there is no such thing as sensible monster hunting, I beg to disagree. Once you decide to stalk the creature of the week, sensible means avoiding unnecessary risks and balancing risks against possible gain. Here are some mistakes for the rookie van Helsings to  avoid:

1) Hunting by night. Why? You can't see shit. You're not doing a fucking cable show and don't need to establish an atmosphere. Humans depend on vision. It is our primary sense. operate by day whenever you can. Consider, the Scooby gang could have done their investigations by day, found the same clues and probably never encountered those creepy old men in costumes (who are buying up properties in the real estate office). So operate by day when you can or at least do a walk through in daylight. By the way, why didn't they start their investigations at the realtor's office, ask what the deal was on that abandoned Air Force base etc.

2) Split up to look for clues. Again, why? The more eyes, the better chance of spotting something, and better you are defended. Primitive humans knew enough to gang up on animals they hunted and drove a lot of megafauna to extinction. 

3) Face and conquer your fears! That's fine for the climax. Generally you should pay attention to your instincts. If something is telling you not to go in that basement, don't go! Or at least go when you have numbers, weapons, and more information. Maybe bring one of those drones. If you lose contact, toss a grenade down those stairs. 

4) Push your group to give 110%. Giving 110% can cause injury and is impossible. Everyone has a different sort of grip on sanity. Some are hanging on by the fingernails. Be supportive of all members of the group. Watch out for each other. If someone is hitting a wall, give them a rest (or an edible) or find a secure spot for them. Fear is a valid feeling. Note that slapping a frightened person does not work in real life. It generally upsets them more. 

5) Trust and believe part 1. People lie all the time. They lie about all manner of things and the paranormal is no exception. Add to this there are lots of things that could seem paranormal. You could mistake a bear for a werewolf or a flight of drones for UFOs. Honestly watch a paranormal show about UFOs and see how long they can go before someone says, "Those can't be drones!" That Black Woods Devil could be an owl, or Old Man Jenkins cosplaying.

6) Going in blind. Even the Blair Witch kids asked locals what they knew about the legends before going into the woods. I know it didn't help but it's the principle of the thing. Sometimes you do everything right and you still snoop into a TPK.

7) Trust and believe part 2. Even honest and sincere people who are eager to share their experiences of a real occurrence may have flawed or incomplete accounts. They may be traumatized. Certainly, they were scared at the time. Keep an open mind going in. Someone bitten on the throat might have been attacked by a vampire, or a werewolf, or a perv (looking at you Jenkins.) 

8) Investigate Shadow People and Black Eyed Children. Nope. Nope. Nope. Hell to the no. Those things give vampires nightmares. 

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