Thursday, April 28, 2016

Tivk Cornered

Tivk's Personal Log

Saltornus: Friend Tivk.

Tivk: Admiral Saltornus.

Saltornus: Guard, at ease. I wish to convince Tivk I am his friend. Here Tivk. Take this. Do you know what it is?

Tivk: … it is a suicide capsule. A Videni suicide capsule.

Saltornus: Indeed, friend Tivk.

Tivk: How does this profess friendship?

Saltornus: It is quick and painless. If we shoot you trying to escape your death will be painful and somewhat protracted. 

Tivk: Ah. I see. You are a Videni spy. You accuse me of being one to deflect curiosity from yourself. A good plan. Unfortunately I am going to remain sitting here. You may explain to the coroner the odd angle of beam wounds on my body. It will not look good for you. 

Saltornus: Oh. That is annoying. But you are going to take this pill nonetheless. Your dear friend Professor Mukh? He will be dead before the day is out if you do not. 

Tivk: …

Saltornus: There is only one ethical decision you can make. You are going to be dead. How you die decides whether your friend will die as well. I’ll give you a minute.

Tivk: That isn’t a good argument.

Saltornus: Really? May I ask why not?

Tivk: I have no guarantees you will not kill him anyway.

Saltornus: I give you my word in the sight of my gods!

Tivk: Sorry but I’ve not known gods of any stripe to entertain my desires. Keep trying.

Saltornus: … why you … How about this? Take the pill or he dies. Now.

Tivk: … … … very well. I will take the capsule.

Saltornus: Good. By the way you wouldn't consider a deathbed conversion to the Videni faith would you?

Tivk: No thank you. Unless you have a pill that performs a lobotomy. But on you … it looks good.

Saltornus: Faithless son of a … what’s wrong?!

Tivk: Hakk!! Hakk!!

Guard: He is choking on the pill Honored One!

Saltornus: He can’t choke to death! The pill has nanites preventing a brain scan! Save him so he may die correctly. Hold on friend Tivk. Make the Heimlich Maneuver!

Guard: Yes Honored One.

Tivk: Gack! Ka-Kakh!!

Saltornus: Are you all right friend Tivk? Sorry about that. I have a hard time with pills too. Would you care for a glass of water?

Tivk: … mm … mm …

Saltornus: What’s that?

Tivk: I said your guard’s pistol will suffice.

<<Pyew! Phew!>>

Guard: Agggh.

Saltornus: Very clever. But I am still in command of the station. You are the deranged videni who kills my guard and myself. I will go to my gods in honor!

Tivk: I’m not killing you. This pistol has a stun setting. I’m going to expose you.

Saltornus: Unlikely …

Tivk: Get away from that suicide capsule …


Saltornus: Aggh. You could have stepped on the capsule and not my hand!

Tivk: Oops.


Saltornus: Aggh!! Why did you do that again?!

Tivk: That is for threatening my friend. I warn you not to try to rush me. This gun is set to stun. It will not kill you.

Saltornus: Sadist! Kill me! Have you know intestinal fortitude?

Tivk: No. I leave it to the security team to untangle what has happened here. I assume you were going to doctor the transcript log in here? I doubt you planned ahead to do so before entering. If you planned ahead you’d have had you guard leave his pistol outside. Not killing you will give my claims of being a loyal citizen some weight at least. They scan run a polyscan to determine my truthfulness far more quickly than my racial identity …

Saltornus: … yes?

Tivk: I could have just asked for a polyscan and stated I was a loyal polity citizen long before this.

Saltornus: Except there are ways around it. It is entertaining to talk with you but it is cutting into the time you could be spending killing me,


Mukh: Heyah … what’d I miss? You stop to bag a cinch for lunch and Tivk goes mad dog without you.

Tivk: Watch your metaphors phrog. Dogs are noble if flatulent creatures.

Mukh: Okay. Why are you holding a pistol on Saltornus?

Tivk: He’s a Videni.

Saltornus: Tivk is a Videni! I stopped him from trying to commit suicide.

Mukh: Tivk would never deny the Galaxy his genius!

Tivk: I hate you all.

Mukh: Well we have the station commander hostage. That means we only have to take out the rest of the station …

Tivk: Indeed. 

Mukh: We’d have a better chance if Nok was here.