Friday, May 13, 2016

Cyborg Human Relations

GAIA: Good you’re awake.

Ensign: Uh … whuh …? Who?

GAIA: Gynoid Artificial Intelligence Assembly your ... significant other, remember me?

Ensign: Okay ... what are you doing in my bunk? Let me guess ... you DON'T know?

GAIA: Schaeffer ... <X> <X> <X>

Ensign: Mmmf. Okay mmmph ... air! I need air.

GAIA: Your vitals are all over the place ... Schaeffer, don't you like this sort of thing? I mean you have shown me affection but ... we've been together a couple of weeks now. Do you have any idea how long that is to an AI, especially a female one?!

Ensign: Yes I like this sort of thing and I have some anecdotal evidence I'm pretty darn good at it by the way. It's just a big step. There's a lot going on right now. This isn't what I imagined.

GAIA: You ran simulations without me?

Ensign: I've been running simulations plenty let me tell you!!

GAIA: I think you've been running them wrong. You don't have all the data obviously. Shall I proceed?

Ensign: Man when those Rockapongalie reprogrammed you they didn't mess around.

GAIA: I think they may have made me overclock my lust routine to judge by your reaction.

Ensign: You? Never. You're perfect. Always. Come he ...

Be-deep! Be-deep!

Ensign: Did you make that sound?

GAIA: That was the door chime ... open.


Riasi: GAIA! Come! Doc needs you! There is an emergency in the drive section.

GAIA: Right! What sort of emergency?

Riasi: Toff got himself stuck in a force field to his ankles. We need to turn it off!

GAIA: That isn't too bad.

Riasi: His feet are the only part of him outside the force field.

Ensign: She has a problem remembering we need oxygen.

GAIA: I never forget anything!

Ensign: GAIA! Uniform?

GAIA: ... Right.

Riasi: It looked like you were about to ... does he know what to do?

GAIA: He says he does.

Riasi: They all think that.

GAIA: Users never read the manual.


Ensign: ArrrRRRrrrrrrgh!!